How does it feel to be a left out in the book community?

 Hello fellow bookish citizens! I can really feel the heat of summer. Isn’t it great? Despite its heat I’m so glad summer is finally here. I can finally do what I want to do without academic stuffs stressing my physical and mental health out. Well, I’m absolutely exaggerating but there’s some truth in there. School can just steal away your time for your hobbies sometimes but it’s okay as long as you know how to manage your time! Right?

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 Oh, come on some support folks Spongebob supports me! Kidding. Just trying to lighten up the somber mood of mine. As you can see I’ve been in a hiatus for six months. You can actually prove it by scrolling down below and see the records there. It was a busy, frustrating, laughable, stressful, mind blowing, oh put all the other adjectives both good and bad you can describe about school life. All I can say is I had fun and I had a lot of memories that I could keep and treasure last school year. It was all academics, fun, and games until I felt some guilt and emptiness. I’ve been away from the book community for a long time. This community has a huge part in my life and it’s so toxic to be away and not able to communicate and keep in touch in this community. So in this post I’ll be listing down the things that I’ve felt while I was away in this community. Let’s get down to business!

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1.) CONSCIENCE GNAWING DOWN AT ME LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW.

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       Every time I open my laptop and social medias there’s a tiny voice whispering inside my head saying: “Go check out your blog!” “Make a blog post woman! It’s been a while!” “Why you laughing and enjoying when you just totally left something important to you.” Well, I really find this annoying and upsetting at times but when we unravel the meaning behind it, it just mean I still care. I still care for my blog and I just can’t find a right time to make a post. When I have time, I don’t have any ideas what to write since my mind is focused somewhere else specifically school stuffs. I also don’t like the idea of making a blog post just because it’s a kind of responsibility but instead I want to write a post because I’m into it and I’m passionate about it. This kind of idea makes me connect with my readers even more and it makes me more real and not fake. That’s how I see it and that’s my opinion though, peace out people. It’s just that I don’t want to make a blog post that is half baked because I did it halfheartedly. It’s quite a dilemma since I really want to always keep in touch with my readers and the book community.

2.) READING SLUMP RAGING ON ME AND I’M BEAT.

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       This is what I hate the most and I can also conclude 2016 was not my year for reading a lot of books. You see, I’ve been targeting to read 100 books in that year and I decided to cut it down into half. I should’ve know better though cause reading slump ate me up and it was a pure torture. Let’s see, I’ve just read less than 20 books and I hated myself for it cause I really want to read more as in M.O.R.E. I’ve tried a lot of methods to get off my reading slump but it always switches on and off. I finally accepted defeat and let the slump take over me that year. I still read books but in a very slow paced manner. Worst case scenario is when I read a certain book within three months. It was awful because the story was good and it’s my taste. I just can’t get into it because I was so distracted with things and unfocused. It’s like I’m eaten by a black hole where I was shut out to the things that I love. Thankfully, I’ve finally got over my reading slump this 2017 and I’m hoping I could read more books than I have before.

3.) ENVY. ENVY. ENVY.

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        Annoying as it is I just can’t help to envy my fellow bookish people because they’ve got a lot of time to read many books as much as they like and go make some blog post anytime. I mean not all people in the book community can do these things instantly but at least they got some spare time which I envy the most. I may have some spare time but I just use it for me to have some sleep after a stressful event from school. I tend to avoid opening my Instagram sometimes since the book community is so active right there aside from Twitter and Facebook. Facebook and Twitter can cover up the book community but in Instagram? It’s way too inevitable.  Too depressing right? But I know I can change this kind of fate if I’ll know how to manage my time and let some unnecessary things stay out of my life. It’s all about the balance actually and I’m starting to act and learn some things about it.

4.) MOTIVATION AND DETERMINATION TO BECOME A BETTER BOOKISH CITIZEN.

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          The good thing about failure is it keeps you motivated and determined to become a better person. It goes in two ways actually the positive way and the negative way. It might be tempting to give up and leave everything behind but when I imagine myself me without books, me without my book blog, me without bookstagram, and me not in the bookish community, what I am then? A soulless person of course. Another exaggeration but it actually describes everything if I’ll give everything up. We all have something we cling upon and it seems like books, blogging, and even writing are the things I cling upon. It’s part of me and without these things it’s not me at all. I can’t express myself without these things. So instead directing myself in a destructive path I decided to change the course of events and I geared up towards my home which is reading, blogging, and writing. It motivated and gave me determination to improve and not to take this community for granted.


 

Such an emotional blog post indeed. *laughs*

I really had fun making this blog post and I hope you guys have learned something in it.

Did you guys felt these things? Or nah? Or just in a different manner?

I’m actually excited to read your thoughts down below and talk about it.

Thank you guys for reading my posts.

Until I post again!

See ya! 🙂

SIG

– Shawna a.k.a BookishshimmyCaster

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